Adding Detail

WAIT:Adding Detail To Sentences

A complex sentence has more than one clause. It has added detail giving the reader more information. It adds interest and makes writing JUICY.

You can add to the

beginning

middle

end

of simple sentences.

Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course.

I was really happy Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course.

Mr Jacobsen was our coach on the confidence course at camp Bentzion

Mr Jacobsen was really a good coach that helped us though the confidence course.

As we went down to the water I was nervous about sailing at camp.

I was nervous with fear about sailing at camp

I was nervous about sailing at camp when we got there.

After looking up at the terrifying wall We went abseiling

We went abseiling above camp Bentzion.

I Heard A Whisper

One Shiny Morning there was a girl name Jenny She liked playing in the forest. But then the next day she heard a whisper but she didn’t know where it was coming from then she heard a another one . She could heard boy whispering “who’s there she said” but

no one replied back.

So the next morning she told her mum she was gonna go out to play in the forest then her mum replied back and “said yes but be care fall said” her Jenny mum then Jenny ran out the door to go outside. As she ran she could see hot air balloons floating in the sky then she saw little lady bags leading Jenny to where the sound is coming from. Just as she got closer she started to have a weird feeling because the was coming from a tree.

When she got there she saw a door stack on a tree “this might be a tree house she said”. She heard another then she took one step then another step then she took one more step . As she took three step she twisted the handle and opened the door but no one was there. But when she went to check in the room no one was there than the

kichan but still no one there.

Then she heard the whisper and got closer to it . She heard another one then she got closer , closer and closer then she open the door and no one was there .Then she went chack on the tv and there it was just the tv . Someone forgot to turn of the tv before they left said Jenny to her safe.

As she looked around to see anyone was here she opened the door and went home.

  

   

Shot-Put

On Friday Morning we had Athletics. I was so happy because I love getting fit and getting to try new things. When we went to set in our years and listen to what sport are we doing next.


Then they called year 6 to go to the shot put area on the failed. As we got there we set down and listen to the instruction that Miss Takere give us. Then we stand up to start I was so nervous because the sort pot looked so hard. But then I was up next I didn't really know where to start so then Miss Takere told
me to hold the shot port next to my nick then bend my nee and look at the watch on my hand and throw.

   
When I throw it it only went half way but I still tried then it was final it was to Jordenne , Meleane and Mua. First up was Jordenne . As I watched her throw the short put Meleane was next then mua. Then  Meleane was next she throw far as she can then Mua . First place went Meleane then jordenne then mua.